Violently right-wing smears against the Democratic Presidential candidate and his distinguished running-mate have reached deluge proportions in a desperate attempt by the ultra Conservative Republican ‘Buffy’ Anne Summers to revive her faltering campaign.
Here we take a dispassionate look at recent media coverage and events across the USSA.
CNS interview with Cassie Uric.
Vice-Presidential candidate Don Vito Corleone refuted the barrage of racist attacks from unregulated and hence partisan foreign internet sources that suggest the Democratic presidential candidate is some kind of a monster. Here is an excerpt:
Senator Corleone: ‘Vlad Dracula is the finest presidential candidate there has ever been in any election apart from those of 2008 and 2012. The torrent of slander against him from conservative and reactionary sources is beyond disgraceful, and I pledge here and now to the whole American people, plus all the peoples and community organizers of our shared continent: from the Rocky Mountain Reparation Native American States to the State Palatinate of Washington DC; from Baja Azania and Nueva Mexico to the Michigan Caliphate; from the Kingdom of Hawaii to all our guests and neighbors in mainland Cuba from Georgia all the way down to everglades of Castro-Dade that these infamitas will be investigated after the election. The perpetrators will be prosecuted using the full powers of the Hate Speech Amendment. We shall reason with them.’
Uric: ‘Doesn’t this defamation hurt you, and hasn’t it damaged your campaign, as some unreliable and partisan straw polls have suggested?’
Senator Corleone; ‘Sure it hurts our feelings Cassie, but we go on. During the French and Indian Wars of Independence when the British Klansmen were burning and raping their way across Bel Air, President Lincoln didn’t just sit there on his hands twiddling his thumbs. No siree/or madam-Bob! He just got on his cell phone and called in an airstrike. We shall do the same.’
Uric: ‘Far out.’
From Washingrad Post.
Summers emerged earlier this year as the surprise front-runner for the Republicans, having overtaken even more notorious right-wing candidates such as the youthful-looking white trash shock-jock reporter Clark Kent and reclusive, authoritarian billionaire capitalist Bruce Wayne.
Back in the primaries she won the grudging approval of some parts of the concerned media, if only because of her longtime association with lesbian activist and former classroom assistant Willow Rosenberg. Since Super Tuesday however, new disclosures have tarnished the frail reputation of this unknown wannabe cheerleader and ex fast-food kitchen skivvy from remote and little-visited
Summers’ controversial claims to have saved numerous lives throughout her puberty by fighting vampires and demons and her defiant assertions that she repeatedly prevented Armageddon have been exposed as the exaggerations of a fantasist born in the ghost town of
From Fairness Doctrine Nation: Public Service Talk Radio for The People.
As veteran political analyst and respected independent commentator Dan Slightly pointed out in a live exclusive NBS interview from his retirement home in downtown Fidel City in the Quays:
‘She has the most reactionary reputation of all the far-right candidates the Republicans have ever tried to foist on the country. The disclosure on BBC’s Truth Channel that Summers destroyed not just one but two high schools plus her entire home town before age twenty can not be ignored. When it was discovered by investigative reporters from New York Community Times and officers of the Mortgage Equality Enforcement Directorate that both she and that her lifelong lesbian friend Willow Rosenberg were personally present at the fatal shooting of Rosenberg’s overweight gay lover and did nothing to prevent it, I think it was game over for a lonely, damaged bleach blonde who has never maintained a close relationship with any unrelated adult man for more than a few weeks.
She literally believes in fighting for something the Right still refers to as The Good. She believes that, despite its obvious emptiness, human life can actually have some meaning or worth.
And like the Nightly Lettuce pointed out, who truly believes that’s her own nose. Like, really? You couldn’t make this stuff up.
I mean that literally by the way Oprah; you couldn’t make it up, is all I’m saying.’
Revelations about Summers’ largely unexplained extremist activities with the notorious foreign-financed anti-immigrant vigilante militia known to the FBI as The Scooby Gang buried her fragile polling lead as the fall came. Her attempts to harm Democratic candidate Vlad Dracula by claiming he is not a native-born American and is also a blood-sucking mass-murder have been condemned by most commentators.
From Insanity Fair.
Senator Dracula, ‘D’ or ‘The Master’ as he is known to his cheerfully devoted followers (nobody here uses his middle name ‘Tepes’ in deference to his forthright and conclusive denial of any connection to the death penalty and also to protect the much-demonized impaling community from which his immigrant forebears sprang), laughed and joked at his Louisiana rally tonight. He brushed aside the tired smears coming from the Summers campaign, and then he made his serious point.
‘When pipeline disaster came to Barrow, Alaska, the Republicans just froze. After eight years out of office in the Wildlife Reserve Territory their new administration refused to send any help to the stricken town other than more and more heavily-armed National Guards with ever more powerful guns to brutalize the immigrant community. This divisive attempt to polarize the population and perpetuate the cycle of violence will surely fail. I plan to travel up there for a few days in December after the election to see what needs to be done to rebuild the shattered community, to prevent any further Neo-Conservative military adventures, and to protect the few surviving undocumented citizens from the vengeance of the white supremacist police department there.’
I’m Mad For Vlad T-shirts - some a little speckled about the necklines with chocolate or ketchup stains from canvassing and street-based fundraisers - can be seen all over New Orleans in this October of Hope and Reconstruction. ‘We must obey The Master’ sing the many, slim and lightly-lad campaign helpers from their shady kennels below the bleachers of a converted university football stadium.
‘D’ has come to see just exactly what the Democrats and their friends can achieve in two full terms of office. Vice President Biden’s Ecological Reconstruction Corps has re-roofed nearly a thousand homes over the last eight years with sustainable materials such as straw, ice blocks of compacted snow for the four month long winters enjoyed by the snow-shoed Cajuns, and also lint from the many abandoned clothing stores of America’s empty shopping malls. They have also built over nine hundred community organizing centers around the historic center of the Big Easy, which has still not fully recovered from years of Republican misgovernment and the racist US Corps of Engineers.
From the Award-winning documentary Transylvania 1476.
Humanitarian film-maker, center-leaning political sage and philanthropist Michael Moose gazes down on the Republican rally and smiles through a snack food-studded beard.
‘The Right’s finished this time. They’re led by someone who literally believes in God, for God’s sake! Their stranglehold on the country’s media has been partly dented by progressive legislation at long last. All their military buddies are stranded overseas in the Zionist enclave or the garage sale they call England and they can’t vote because no-one will sell our Navy any fuel to bring them home, Ins’Allah.
Look, here comes the VP candidate, the Great White Hope – the kid photojournalist who’s ‘galvanized' the conservative so-called base. Did you know that Mayor Parker actually spoke against the Plasma Obligation Bill? You can’t have a properly socialized health system and let the voluntary principle sabotage it. They just don’t think of the children at all. No doubt we’ll get some fascist whitenecks tearing up their donor quota cards and singing Wooden Heart again, or that stupid song about grapes and glory.
Look at that Nazi bastard crawl down that wall, willya?'
Other news in brief.
International.
President Obama returned to the USSA today from informal nuclear arms limitation talks in United Palistan’s Meccan province with President in Perpetuity Ahmadinejad, but few doubt that pleas for increased oil rations fro Amrican hospitals and schools and a lucrative retirement book deal are the true agenda.
Business.
Things are looking up in the world of information technology after an eight year downturn despite Fed effort to the contrary. Internet inventor and Public Responsibility Tsar Al Gore has finally allowed talks to begin for the long-awaited Microsoft/Cyberdyne Systems merger.
‘This is a great day for low-carbon technology,’ the Great Scientist announced from his eco-home in Relocation Hollywood. ‘What could possibly go wrong?’
